


The Feeling of Love

by areyouowlright



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyouowlright/pseuds/areyouowlright
Summary: This is a fanfiction about Stiles and Derek, nothing sexual, just love <3





	The Feeling of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, this is my first ever fanfiction and I have NO idea whatsoever about Teen Wolf.  
> I wrote this for my best friend for her birthday and she literally loved it.  
> I hope you do, as well, and please tell me if anything needs to be changed!

He’s sitting on the ground, thinking about it all. Thinking about how he might approach the whole situation and how he might tell him.

Stiles looked around if someone was there, but he couldn’t see anyone in the black of the night. And then he started talking to himself.

“Well, you trust him, and he trusts you. And you have done so many things together. He has helped you, you have helped him, you trust each other. But that doesn’t mean anything. Or does it?” He stopped, looking down.

Why was he feeling that way? Why now? Why about him?

“He looks good, though”, he said and laughed. That surprised him. He, laughing, about him, that’s something new. But it feels good.

“Here you are.” Stiles looked around. And there he is, in all his pride and glory, looking at him sitting there, with the smallest smile on his lips. Those lips, Stiles thought. “You good?”, asked Derek.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Stiles got up, suddenly feeling ashamed. Ashamed of thinking about him - in that way. It’s impossible, he was sure about that. And he was angry. Angry at Derek for making him feel that way and angry at him for letting those feelings happen.

“You sure you’re good?” The smile was gone from Derek’s face. Now he looked a bit concerned which was untypical for him.

“Yes, I’m good.” Now he was really pissed. Why the sudden interest in his feelings? He never asked him about that, why now? It made him feel uncomfortable and he just wanted to get away. So he did.

“Stiles wait up.”

Why wouldn’t he leave him alone? And why was he feeling so insecure all of a sudden? A minute ago, he was thinking about being near him all the time and now he’s running away from him. What the fuck was going on?

“Sorry, I have to go.” This was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? Well, what’s done is done. He could see that Derek was hurt even though he didn’t show it. He knew him too well by now. “See you later?”

Without waiting for an answer, he went. He thought that he heard a shy and maybe even a bit disappointed “yeah, see ya” behind him but that could have been his imagination.

It does weird things sometimes.

 

What’s wrong with him? I haven’t said anything to offend him, have I?

Derek was standing there, watching Stiles go without him having the chance to talk to him. He watched him disappear into the night, whishing he had stayed just a moment longer.

He was surprised by his feelings for Stiles. They have trusted each other and have had so many trustworthy moments in the past. They have overcome so many obstacles and he has always loved him.

But not in that way.

All he wanted to do was be near him, feel him, feel his skin, his breath, his touch, loose himself in his arms, in his eyes, never letting him go again.

How can I tell him? Tell him without offending him? Without feeling weird and without him feeling insecure? It’s new for me as well, I have never had such feelings for a man. What if he doesn’t have feelings for me? Yes, he trusts me, and I trust him but what if trust is not enough? Without trust there can’t be love, but without love there can’t be –

 

“Look, I’m really sorry.” He had decided to go back and apologize. He felt bad for letting Derek stand there, alone in the night, and he didn’t like the way they parted.

“I just have to figure a few things out, if you know what I mean”

“I know.” Derek looked at him, again with the smallest hint of a smile on his face, just looking him deep into his eyes. “It’s okay.”

“Thank you.” Stiles smiled at him, wanting so badly to hug him, feel his warmth against his body, but he held back. He hoped that Derek would feel the same way and that he would go to him and hug him. He wouldn’t, though. “Night”, he said, looked a moment longer without getting an answer from Derek other than the look on his face, the look of longing maybe, and walked away again.

He felt better this time. Not perfect, but better than before. He even smiled, and he couldn’t stop smiling all the way back home.

It felt good.

 

Maybe he does like me. I mean, he came back and apologized. Doesn’t that mean something?

Derek stood there, feeling the wind in his hair, staring into the night to the place Stiles went even though he was long gone. He had that feeling of longing towards him and with every breath it grew stronger and stronger. He just wanted him to be where he was, always.

And he decided to tell him. He just needed to figure out a way to tell him without it being awkward or strange.

How, though? How can I tell him the way I feel about him and be sure that he understands what I mean without it getting too intimate? I’m not saying that I love him.

Am I?

Wait, what the fuck?

Do I love him?

Do I really?

Do I seriously love him?

Do I?

I think – I think I do.

But that’s impossible, isn’t it?

Isn’t it?

Or is it?

His knees went out under him and he sat down with a thump. His breath went out of him, he felt like drowning and flying at the same time. A sensation went through his whole body. Time stopped. Everything was dark and bright, all at the same time. He felt like crying and laughing, living and dying. He was cold and hot, numb and alive. All at the same time. All within a few seconds though it felt like eternity.

I really do love him.

 

Back home, Stiles couldn’t stop smiling.

Why am I smiling like a little child that has had chocolate for the first time? And why can’t I stop? I feel stupid. And good.

It feels good.

Why does it feel so good?

Can it be real?

Is it real?

Do I have feelings for him, true feelings?

He couldn’t stop thinking about Derek, about the hint of a smile, that look he gave him, the image of his body pressed against his own.

“Can somebody please explain”, he cried. He wanted an explanation even though he already knew what that would say.

Deep down he knew what the explanation would be, what other people would say about him feeling the way he does. He knew that they would say that he loves him, that he wants to be with him.

And deep down he knew that this could never happen.

Why does something that is considered so wrong feel so good? Why does it make me feel like I can’t live without him? Like I don’t want to be without him, ever again? Like I would die for him?

And then he realized.

 

Derek paced up and down in his room.

He couldn’t sleep last night, he was so nervous and impatient. He wanted to tell Stiles what he felt for him, what he has always felt since the day he met him. He just didn’t realize it until now. He knew that he knew, a part of him has always known what he felt.

And a part of him will always feel for him that way.

Even if he doesn’t.

That was his greatest fear. Stiles not feeling the same way he feels.

What would he do then? What would he do if Stiles rejected him?

Would he avoid him?

Would he hate him?

Or would he still love him?

Of course, he would still love him. It’s Stiles, what’s there not to love? And even if he doesn’t feel the same, they can still be friends.

Right?

I hope so, he thought, looking at the ground.

He was nervous. He was afraid. He had anticipated this moment for the longest time and it was finally in his grasp. But now the doubts came boiling up and they seemed to overwhelm him.

He had to sit down, or he would fall to his knees again. Everything turned around him. His worries and doubts mixed with his love for Stiles battled inside him, bringing up tears, disabling his breathing, blurring his vision.

What’s wrong with me?

Is this love?

After some time, the chaos inside him subsided and he felt better. He got up, dressed, took his keys and went outside. The cold autumn air slapped his face, but it felt good.

He breathed in deeply, one foot in front of the other, and went to Stiles’ house.

 

“Who’s there?”

The doorbell brought him back to his senses. He was sitting at the edge of the bed. Ever since he came home last night he’s been thinking. And one thing became very clear; he loved Derek.

A part of him always has and always will, whatever might happen. And he hoped that Derek might think the same way about him. That he might see him in the same shining light, looks at him the same longing way, wants to be with him with the same desperation.

The part of him that was sure he didn’t has become so very small that he could ignore it. The only part that gave him doubts was the one that said that it’s wrong.

Wrong what he was thinking, wrong what he was wanting, wrong what he was picturing. Wrong what he knew, what he has always known.

So why did it feel so fucking good?

“It’s me.”

Stiles didn’t have to ask who ‘me’ was, he would recognize Derek’s voice everywhere.

He was partially dressed right now but he didn’t care. He went to the door, opened it, and there he stood.

 

“Hey”, said Derek.

“Hey”, said Stiles.

Both were feeling insecure, nervous and happy, looking at each other with the same love and craving they felt for so long.

“Come in”, said Stiles after a few moments. Reluctantly, Derek stepped through the door into Stiles’ living-room. A lamp was switched on in the far corner, other than that it was dark.

“What’s up?” Stiles tried to mask his nervousness, but a part of Derek knew that he felt the same way he did.

“I need to tell you something.”

They looked at each other and started laughing. They had spoken the exact same thing at the exact same moment.

“You first”, said Stiles.

“You sure”, asked Derek and after a short nod of Stiles he spoke.

“Ever since I first met you there was this feeling inside me. First it was friendship, the most perfect friendship. Then it was trust, so great, I have never known something more powerful. We have done so many things together. You have saved me more times than I can thank you. You were there for me and I was there for you in turn. We have built an almost perfect relationship over time and I’m so happy that I have met you.

But lately something has changed. I realized something huge and I need to share it with you. I just hope that you don’t hate me for it.”

Their eyes were locked the whole time. Stiles was breathing almost normally while Derek’s breath was faster. He breathed in deeply, closed his eyes.

As he opened them again, Stiles was standing so close to him that he felt his warmth against his body. He could smell his skin, his hair. He could almost hear his heart beating heavily.

And then Stiles took Derek’s face in his hands. He brushed against his cheeks, softly, and then one hand went through his dark hair. He stepped even closer until one body touched the other.

Derek’s hands reached out and grabbed Stiles waist. They brushed against the warm, bare skin of his back, holding him tightly against his body, soaking up the warmth.

And without warning, suddenly and slowly at once, they moved closer, closing their eyes, turning their heads.

 

Embraced in their arms they stood there for what seemed to them an eternity.

They felt each other like they never did before.

Like time has stopped.

 

Forever together.


End file.
